#89 Live with Less

Why have a set of antique China dinnerware that you never use?   Why have fourteen pairs of shoes?  Why buy or build a 4,000 square foot house if the two or four or six of you with the kids can live contently and sufficiently in a 3,000 sq. ft or even a 2,000 sq.ft.?  What's the motivation behind buying or building a big house?    Why go shopping for more clothes if your closet is about to burst with dozens of clothing and what not?   Why go on a shopping spree on things you don't need?

Longing for happiness, joy, peace, and a rich and satisfying life is normal.  But those things aren't found in stuff.  Some people try to find fulfillment in new adventures, new hobbies, new friends, vacations, purchases, keeping up with the Joneses, but there's no ultimate fulfillment in stuff.  A new toy or a new experience may give you a temporary high in this illusion of fulfillment, but within days or weeks, you'll be left with that sense that something's still missing.

The more stuff you purchase and collect, the more time, energy, money, stress, it will take for you to maintain or repair or secure those things.   What's the difference between a family of four roughing it in a tent or camper for a week vs. the same family of four living in a big house?   Going camping requires to bring only the essentials, allowing you to actually spend more time with each other -- the important stuff.  Living in a big home makes each person to live more isolated from one another, with more responsibilities to maintain and repair things such as garage, sink, security system, computers, floor, heating or A/C, lawncare, and tons more.  More stuff means you have to work more to afford the lifestyle that was unnecessary to begin with.  People brought on their own stress.

Here's a few ideas.  What about giving away just a third of your closet, a third of your utensils, a third of your whatever, to other people?   Start with your bedroom or kitchen first.  Grab a big box, fill it up.  It's actually nice to have a closet with plenty of room.  It's much nicer to give those things away.  What about investing more?   If instead of buying a 3,000 sq.ft house, you instead live in a 2,000 sq.ft house, the difference in your monthly payment, in 25-35 years will be about one million dollars when invested. So, would you rather live in a simple sufficient home and have a million dollars to retire on, or would you rather spend more to show off to others people (who most likely don't give a darn or worth a darn) and have nothing to retire on?   A few people have asked us why we still drive our 2003 little Toyota Echo with 150K+ miles on it instead of getting and driving a much luxurious vehicle.  Well, for one, it's still working just fine with 35-38 miles per friggin gallon.  Two, ... why?   For what purpose?  To impress others?  Hah  :)   Dave Ramsey wrote, "People buy things they don't need with money they don't have to impress people they don't like."  LOL.

There's nothing inherently wrong with stuff, with having a big house, nice toys and gears, etc, but exactly, what's your focus on earth?  Can you imagine Jesus having to stress out about dozens of clothing items or the latest toys or what people think?   

Ecclesiastes 4:4 - "Most people are motivated for success because they envy their neighbors.  But this, too, is meaningless --like chasing the wind."

I Timothy 6:6,8 - "So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.  True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth."

#78 Lending Money

Rule #1: Never lend money to family members or friends.
Rule #2: Under very difficult and rare circumstances where rule #1 had to be broken, speak with your spouse first so both of you make the right well-informed decision together, before notifying or even promising the other party whether you will or will not help him/her, or how much you are willing to help.
Rule #3: Tell the person who needs the money that you are giving him/her the money and that you don't expect him/her to repay that amount.  It is a gift.  In your mind, do not expect this gift back.  If they repay, fine, if not, then you are willing to accept the consequence of losing that amount of money without holding a grudge.
Rule #4: Notify that party that you will help only one time, or up to a certain point that you are able to contribute financially.  If the problem continues to arise, s/he is abusing your kindness and you are not helping him/her.  We know personally of a distant relative whose grandma and uncles and aunts sent money to him to cover college tuition and expenses for over six or seven years yet he never graduated, squandered the hard-earned money, skipped classes and semesters, and continued telling his grandma and uncles and aunts that he still needed the money for school every single year.
Rule #5: Maintain a positive relationship as best as possible without being judgmental about the whole situation.  The other party may feel ashamed, embarassed, judged, and unsecure about the situation which will only jeopardize your relationship further.
Rule #6:  Borrowers are slaves to the lenders.   When a family member, especially an older family member (older sibling, uncle, mother, aunt), borrows from a younger family member, this tilts the balance of power in the relationship and almost often ruins the relationship.  That's why always follow Rule #1.

#24 Success and Happiness

Sweethearts, many people are so obsessed with these three things: money, fame, and power.  Greatness has nothing to do with being beautiful, being popular, or even being wealthy.

Imagine this.  Professional basketball players (NBA) make millions of dollars per year, which translates to over $500+ per hour income if they were to work a 40 hours per week  job.  Per hour!   If you put yourselves in their shoes, these pro players have everything that most people can only dream:  they are über famous with tons of die-hard fans around the world, they drive expensive cars, living in multiple mansions, fly private jets, wear designer clothes, many are good-looking, and many worked hard to get to where they are today.  Yet, many have broken marriages, committed suicides, involved in drugs and narcotics, broken relationships, depression, etc.

Now, there is nothing wrong with being wealthy, being popular, being successful, or being beautiful.  In fact, your dad always says that the only people who say "money can't buy happiness" are most likely people who are poor themselves.   Money is not the root of all evil.  The love of money IS.  If you are poor, you are a burden to others, but if you have money, then you can take care of your family, go on vacations with your loved ones, live comfortably, and have the opportunity and ability to help other people.

But what makes life miserable is when you ignore life's important ingredients.  The important things that make up a great life are peace of mind, pure joy, great relationships, love, the blessings of health, and especially being in good standing with God.